I’m six years old, riding my bike on the sidewalk in our suburban Maryland neighborhood. Peter, on foot, challenges me, on my bike, to a downhill race. Though I clearly had an advantage, I knew better than to play with Peter (we had all experienced his antics and tried to keep our distance). I emphatically tell him, “NO!” I frantically peddle away from him, but he begins to run beside me in spite of my refusal. Against all odds, his shoelace catches in my front spokes. My wheel locks, the bike jerks to an immediate stop, I fly through the air. My head connects with the bumper of a parked car. Although I didn’t feel much pain in the moment, I was covered in blood from head to toe by the time I reached my mom, who rushed me to the hospital.
If I was leery of Peter before, I was now completely done with him. The pain of that incident changed my interactions (or lack thereof) with this young man forever. Regardless of the type, degree, or location of pain, pain is unforgettable. If you have ever had your heart broken you will always remember it. If you’ve ever broken a bone, you will never forget that pain. Any woman who has ever given birth will most definitely remember the pain of the delivery. What have you learned from the pain of your past that has prepared you for your purpose in the present?
PROTECTION FROM PAIN
I like watching mixed martial arts fights. One path to victory involves getting your opponent to submit and tap out. Some fighters are experts at putting their opponents in ‘arm bars’ or ‘knee bars’ or ‘chokeholds’ in an effort to cause their opponent to tap out. If you are trapped in an arm bar, what makes you tap out is the desire to avoid a broken arm. I’ve witnessed some, however, in an effort to assert their toughness, refuse to tap out and inevitably suffer a broken bone. I can only imagine the pain they must have felt before the break. Pain is an indication that you need to protect yourself. When you try to advance in your purpose do you ever experience pain? How do you protect yourself while continuing to advance? Take notes on yourself. Talk to others and learn new techniques that will allow you to weather the storm and still proceed towards an expected end. Your response to the pain will determine the recurrence of the pain.
PLEASURE FROM PAIN
This heading sounds weird. Once again, I don’t know anyone who has said, “I enjoy pain.” However, we all know the common saying, “from pain will come pleasure.” Although, the two seem to be diametrically opposed, perhaps one (pain) is often required for the other (pleasure) to be experienced. What if you knew upfront that the pain of the process would have an eternal impact for even a few others? What if you knew that the pain of training hours a day would give you the confidence to perform at the highest level? What if you knew that the pain of staying up late would provide you future freedom to sleep in? In essence, if you could see the pleasure you would eventually experience while pursuing your purpose, you may be willing to experience the pain. The absence of pressure may indicate a lack of growth.
PURPOSE FROM PAIN
When fire burns you, you learn not to touch fire. Hopefully, this isn’t the way that most of you had to learn this valuable lesson, but it is a necessary lesson. We all learn from our mistakes. Personally, I have made mistakes while speaking that I don’t make anymore precisely because I don’t want to ever experience that feeling again. I have made mistakes in every area of my life – as a father, a husband, a pastor, and as a friend – that have sharpened me and perfected me so that I can fulfill my purpose in life. We all need to redefine how we view pain. Pain indicates growth. The problem is many people aren’t willing to work through the pain in order to realize the completion of their assignment. Once we embrace the pain rather than making every attempt to avoid it, we will see the growth we desire. Andy Rooney said, “Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all of the growth occurs while you’re climbing it.”