Many of us remember the first time we “liked” a boy or a girl. Eyeing them from a distance, we dreamed that a relationship would develop. We saw them walking to class or playing in the neighborhood and for whatever reason they caught our attention. Soon we mustered the courage to go talk to him or her and then a conversation ensued. This would lead to long talks on the phone that often extended well into the night. Most of the conversation was directed by the questions we asked or answered.
Every relationship we have, especially those of merit, has been the result of questions. The way you get to know another person is by asking them questions and listening to the corresponding answers. In fact, far too often we simply assume that we know someone without having asked him or her any questions only to find out later that our assumption was incorrect.
If you are married, what questions did you ask your spouse before you got married? What questions do you wish you would have asked now that you’ve been together for some time? What questions were you asked on your most recent job interview? Once in a recruiting session I was asked ‘what was my favorite animal and why?’ It was a strange question but I got the job and loved it, so I must have picked the correct animal.
All jokes aside it might be a good idea to ask yourself some questions so that you can know yourself better and have a better idea of your purpose. Outside of God there is no one that you need to know as well as you know yourself. The question is: do you know you?
QUESTION 1 – WHAT FRUSTRATES ME IN LIFE?
Usually, whatever frustrates you in life is what you were born to solve. Many people are good at noticing problems but haven’t translated that into solving problems. Some people can thrive in environments with poor leadership. However, if poor leadership frustrates you, have you asked yourself ‘why’? You weren’t born to live in constant frustration. The solution to that which frustrates you most likely lies within you.
Think about the gifts, talents and abilities that come naturally to you and ask yourself if they are truly being used to their highest degree? Are you utilizing all of your abilities or simply living life using your capabilities? Is your purpose trapped on someone’s job? Life has meaning and you will never see this fact more clearly revealed than when you ask yourself the question why is ‘this’ always frustrating me and after answering yourself proceeding to live a life devoted to delivering that answer to the world.
QUESTION 2 – WHERE DOES MY MORAL STANDARD COME FROM?
It seems that a concrete moral standard is a thing of the past in today’s pluralistic, relativistic, ‘I want to do whatever I want’ society. As tempting as it may be to think that morality does not need to be rooted in something outside of ourselves, ask yourself the question is that livable? If my morality allows me to harm you or conflicts with your morality, whose version of morality wins? Where does your moral standard come from? If it is not from a source that transcends you then it must come from you or someone like you. If that’s the case, what if you or they change their way of thinking? Can you or are you willing to trust yourself or another human prone to fluctuations and changes of opinion with the moral framework necessary to ground, guide and govern your actions?
It is said that we now live in a “post-truth” world and if that were or could be the case, objective morality would be the first victim and we are beginning to see the results of living without objective morality. In Saving Truth, Abdu Murray writes, “When truth is sacrificed as the burnt offering on the altar of autonomy, the resultant smoke chokes the breath out of freedom. Only chaos remains, which ultimately leads to bondage.” Have you asked yourself and answered the question, ‘where does my moral standard come from?’
QUESTION 3 – WHAT MAKES ME UNIQUE?
There are a lot of teachers but many of us remember our favorite teacher. There are a lot of doctors but a common phrase is “my doctor is the best!” People have claimed to have the best mechanic, barber and pastor. Regardless of if these individuals are actually the best in their fields, what makes someone willing to offer such accolades on their behalf? What makes these people unique?
Discovering your unique ability usually reveals your unique purpose. Your purpose lies at the intersection of your design, your desire and your distinction. Your distinction is the compilation of the unique ability, attitude or approach that you have when doing what so many have done or tried to do before. There are a lot of speakers but what I hope is true is that I’m not like any of them. Ask yourself: what makes me unique. Don’t believe for a moment that you’re ordinary because there is only one you.
I believe that every person has uniqueness – something that nobody else has. If everyone would look for that uniqueness then we would have a very colorful world.