You Are A Loser And That’s A Good Thing

Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls couldn’t seem to beat the Detroit Pistons. Three times a loser, it seemed that Michael Jordan may never conquer the feisty and fearless Detroit teams of the late 80’s. I’m sure many Pistons fans accurately shouted out, “you’re a loser!” The question is, what perspective did Michael and the Bulls have regarding their defeats? What perspective do you have regarding your losses?

Michael Jordan once said, “I’ve never lost a game, I just ran out of time.” Some people are crushed by losses and some have the amazing ability to believe they can succeed while they are still picking themselves up from a recent knockdown. Which one are you? Truthfully, we will all take a loss from time to time. We will suffer a financial setback. Someone may die unexpectedly. We could get fired. Our business plan may hit a roadblock. Our kids will disappoint us. We will disappoint our kids. The question isn’t will you take a loss, it’s how will you respond in the face of failure?

I believe that there is great value in – occasionally – taking losses. Let’s face it, no one wants to lose all day every day. However, the occasional loss can allow us to shore up any gaps in our methods and can help us address our weaknesses. In this way taking a loss is different than being a loser. A loss is a temporary setback. A loser is someone who never learns from his or her mistakes. How you handle the loss is what determines if the loss was a good thing or bad thing.

THE JADED LOSER

No one likes to lose. To be jaded means to be worn-out, tired or fed-up. You may be reading this and thinking, “That’s me. I’m tired of taking L’s!” A purpose-led life will require some tough lessons. Sometimes we feel as though we’re failing every lesson or repeating most of them. If this is the case, take a step back and review your life. Think back to your last ‘win’ and to all of the other victories that you’ve achieved. It’s common in our culture to count the losses but when is the last time you counted the ‘wins’?

In a culture entrenched with complaining, whining, and quarreling we have become more comfortable discussing our downfalls instead of enjoying our elevation. When we do have a high point or a win we often feel shame in sharing it. It is this false sense of humility that is actually making our losses seem more dramatic than they really are. Be honest with yourself, have you celebrated your wins?

THE JEALOUS LOSER

One reason that we often feel like we’re taking too many losses is because we’re looking at others who seem to always be winning. Social media has allowed lying to reach an all time high. I recently gave a talk about how social media actually exacerbates the problems we have because not only are you striving within yourself to get ahead, but now you have at your fingertips the ability to compare yourself with everyone else. Don’t do that!

I urge you not to seek your greatness by comparing yourself to others, but find your greatness by bringing what’s inside of you out. Since your purpose is uniquely yours, comparing yourself to others in order to determine if you’re winning or losing is about as useful as comparing an airplane to a boat. Neither is better. What determines their respective usefulness is only evident when you know whether you are traveling on water or through the air. The path designed for you to fulfill your purpose will have obstacles – but they will be different than those of another. Ultimately, those obstacles are to perfect, not prevent, you from turning losses into lessons.

THE JOYOUS LOSER

Once we realize that life consists of ups and downs, wins and losses, we will approach it with a different thought process. Recently, I hosted my first apologetics conference. There were a myriad of obstacles and I even contemplated cancelling it several times but then I realized that the complications were clues that I was on the right track. The fulfillment of your purpose is not based on the ease of steps one through nine but on the necessity of completing step ten. Without the process the product will never be complete.

There is joy in knowing that the goal you’re striving towards is worthy of the work. There is joy in knowing that your purpose is bigger than your pitfalls. There is joy in learning the lessons from your losses. Finally, there is joy in knowing that you’re not a loser as long as you are blessed with another day to go after a win.