“Not fair!” This may be the most consistent outcry of every little kid. It may be uttered after seeing another kid with ice cream, a new bike, or a new toy. Jealousy rears its ugly head fairly early in life. We don’t have to be taught how to be jealous. It seems we develop that ability intuitively.
Television doesn’t help us overcome this flaw as we get older. Between the constant barrage of commercials tempting us to consume evermore or the Real Housewives of wherever enticing us to portray a lifestyle far above our pay grade, feelings of jealousy continue to emerge. And whatever thoughts of jealousy television doesn’t cement in our minds, social media is there to put the final nail in the coffin. A simple scroll through your timeline will have you jealous of a myriad of people you’ve never even met.
Robert Kraft said, “envy and jealousy are incurable diseases.” Is that really true? Are we bound to go through life as jealous people who can’t admire others’ successes because we secretly wish to be them? Is it possible to honestly celebrate or applaud the work of another without being jealous of their accomplishment? Is it possible that we aren’t assessing our feelings of jealousy properly? Perhaps jealousy provides clues to our purpose in life…
PRIDEFUL JEALOUSY
Pride acts as the blinder that prevents purpose from being birthed. There are many sins, but in my humble opinion none is worse than pride. Pride prevents you from seeing that you’ve even done something wrong and therefore it also prevents you from rectifying that wrong. In the pursuit of fulfilling your purpose, pride will cause you to be delayed and dismayed.
Pride doesn’t allow you to have the proper perspective about yourself. When you don’t see yourself properly, you don’t see others properly either. This leads to feelings of jealousy. You think they “made it” by being gifted money or through some nefarious means. Your prideful jealousy won’t let you see that they were working while you slept and their hard work is finally paying off.
PERSONAL JEALOUSY
Jealousy is very personal. While it is easy to share feelings of anxiety, fear, joy, or pain, it is difficult to share feelings of jealousy. Jealousy is not well received. No one is likely to feel sympathy for you having feelings of jealousy. This makes this emotion very personal in that you carry it alone – scared to share it with others lest you be judged. My friend said, “Jealousy causes you not to be able to celebrate someone else’s victory because you feel that you haven’t gotten yours yet.”
However, what if you ask yourself – Why am I jealous of [insert name of your favorite frenemy]? What do they have that you want? Who are they now that you hope to be in the future? Instead of letting jealousy run your life, repurpose those feelings into purpose driven actions. Don’t be jealous of who they are. Find out how they became who they are. Don’t be jealous of the business they have. Find out how they built that business. When at all possible find out directly from the individual. Often times we are jealous because someone else had the guts to do what we have only wished we might do.
PURPOSEFUL JEALOUSY
Jealousy is one side of a two-sided coin. The other side is desire. Your jealousy is purpose in disguise. There is a purpose in you waiting to be birthed and instead of birthing it you’re watching someone else who has birthed and raised his or her own purpose. This is a clue. You aren’t jealous of everyone. You’re only jealous of certain people because they are doing something in line with the desire that lives in you. I’ve never been jealous of a painter. I have been jealous of a speaker. That jealousy drove me to them so that I could learn, grow and fulfill my purpose.
Jealousy does have a purpose. It exposes to us the purpose-filled desires that we may not even know we have. Jealousy doesn’t point you towards moments of success but to a lifetime of significance. The next time you find yourself getting jealous, ask yourself why and allow jealousy to be the catalyst to begin your journey. This journey is your path of purpose. Jealousy helps you gain clarity on your why. And your ‘why’ propels you towards your destiny.
Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time. – Drake
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