A Moment Of Clarity

In life, few things are more important to our ability to develop and mature than the love of a mother. Growing up, my mother did anything and everything to make sure that my brother and I were loved and had the things we needed. My dad passed when I was eleven and she played the dual role to the best of her ability. She helped us gain clarity regarding our faith in God, provided us clothes, food and shelter in a great community and exposed us to new places and unique opportunities.

Much later, in my adult life, my mother developed an auto-immune disorder that left her nearly blind for a number of years. In an attempt to combat the disease and her waning vision, my mother was prescribed many medications. With no warning, a couple of weeks ago, her body could no longer handle the large quantity of medication she was consuming and she passed away.

Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Not only did I know the love of this great and caring woman, I learned many things from her – spoken and unspoken. Due to her poor eyesight she wasn’t able to see many of the things my brother and I have done or accomplished in recent years but she was proud and enthusiastic nonetheless. Every time she was at my house she asked me to read some of my blog posts to her. I’ve come to learn that even when she was out of town she would sometimes have others read a post or two to her.

It seems only fitting that in honor of the faithful, brave, and dedicated life she lived that I dedicate this post to her. No one can carry out their purpose in life without a mother birthing them to begin with. Though her vision was clouded in her final years, the lessons I have learned from her offer great clarity. Although only God can reveal your purpose, it was my mom who gave me the principles to live by so that when my purpose was revealed, I could carry it out with discipline, decency, and determination.

CLARITY ABOUT IMPACT

Recently, my family and I were stopped at a stoplight and someone, not paying attention, rear-ended us. The bottle my wife was drinking went flying forward but other than a messy car everyone emerged unscathed. The other driver’s car, however, sustained some damage from the impact of the collision. There was a permanent dent on his car. Likewise, when you impact someone in life, that impact remains long after the initial encounter. It’s up to you what kind of impact that will be.

In our interactions with people, especially those we lead or see regularly, we need to remember that our impact always outlasts us. I still feel the impact of my mom’s love though she is not present to administer it. I still feel the impact of the tough lessons she taught me. I still feel the impact of watching her deal gracefully with a situation that would have broken many others.

CLARITY ABOUT SUFFERING

For much of the nascent years of our lives our purpose is in seed form. One of the ways that a seed planted in the ground begins to germinate is through the pressure applied by the surrounding soil. Couple that with the constant inundation of water and heat from the sun and eventually what’s inside of that seed will begin to come forth. In life, suffering often acts as a source of pressure to force the purpose inside of us to emerge.

I can lift more weights than my mom ever could, run faster than she ever did and carry more grocery bags than she ever would, but I humbly admit that I will never be as strong as she was. Her faith was hewn through the midnight eye pain she endured. Her character was forged through the dogmatic determination to see her young sons succeed in spite of the loss of their father. Everyone, at some point in his or her life has struggles and faces adversity. But I have come to the conclusion that you will not be remembered for what you endured but for how you endured it.

CLARITY ABOUT CHARACTER

Purpose is in the mind of the Creator. But when we come to know that mind, we don’t just learn our purpose, we learn the character of the One that gave it to us. I know that everyone makes mistakes and falls short of His standard of perfection but I can hardly remember a time where I saw my mom fall short of God’s standard. Character is who you are when no one is watching. I didn’t just trust my mom because she was my mom but because I knew she was always the same person and maintained an unchanging standard.

When we finish our lives, what better statement could be made about us? Character still counts! I am clear on the character I should exhibit because I had a clear representation of that standard for my entire life. I understand the importance of integrity, honesty, and obedience not because of what I was told but because of what I witnessed.

Tomorrow is promised to no one. This is why I will attempt to make every day a purpose-filled day. But not before I pause to gain a moment of clarity.

I love you mom.